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"Heero Yuy, L6, and the Second Suit Wars "Part 3Written By: ELLE Disclaimer: I don't own the characters from Gundam
Wing (unfortunately) and they were used without permission, but all
the words are my own. Rating: NC 17 Warnings: occurs post-EW, language, angst, sex,
hopefully acceptable OOC, 1st person POV (*shudder* sorry, no way
around it!), plus a ton of minor and a few major OCs (since it's 1st
person, you get to avoid dealing with them too much.) Pairings: 1x2x1 plus others TBD Summary: Jack Kaufmann has no recollection of the braided man who claims they were once more than friends, but his quest to recover his memories leads him to discover a plot much larger than himself that is a threat to the peace he'd once fought to protect... The lovely Miss-Murdered beta'd this for me and frankly this story wouldn't exist without her encouragement.
"Restitution of a Former Life " Epilogue
The first thing I noticed when I awoke was the throbbing pain in my head. The second - how damned bright it was. I was disoriented but the combination of those two things immediately told me that I was in a hospital. I grimaced at the thought as I closed my eyes again, feeling the catheter, the needles under my skin, and trying to remain calm despite my desperate urge to yank every tube from my body. I realized then that Duo was curled up next to me in that tiny hospital bed, an arm thrown over my stomach, soft, warm breath puffing against my cheek and he shifted just slightly, snuggling in closer to me. For a moment, I felt my blood pressure drop and my heart rate slow, the way that only he could affect me. Then I remembered that I was supposed to be dead. Panic began clawing at my stomach and I saw the heart rate monitor pick up in pace as my eyes searched the room frantically, finding the exit, every piece of me wanting to escape before Duo woke up and I could hurt him once more. But apparently a nurse was already alerted to my change in heart rate and Duo's eyes were fluttering open at the same moment the door opened and she frowned as he blinked blearily and yawned into the back of his hand. "Sir, you really should give the patient some space," she chastised and Duo blushed faintly but didn't move even as she approached, just held me closer to him as she inspected the monitor, my fluids and medications. I guess at this point they knew better than to demand anything of Duo -assuming I'd been here more than twenty-four hours. "How do you feel?" she asked. I glared. "Uncertain," I choked out around a cough, having not used my voice in who knows how long. She sighed as her lips formed a tight line. "Do you think you can eat in a little while? Do you feel faint, like you're going to pass out?" "Fine," I replied dismissively. "I'm fine." "Well, I'll make a note for the doctor to come in on his rotation and I'll have them take a dinner order." Quickly she removed me from the fluids, leaving the needle catheter in place, just taping it down. "We're backed up with all those children, though, so it may be an hour or so before the doctor can see you." And then she turned and left, leaving me alone with Duo. For a while he didn't say anything, he just rested his head in the crook of my neck and I could feel the smile on his lips against my skin. Every moment was like torture though as I was forced to wonder what had happened, how I got here, how long it would be before I was going to try to hurt him again. "Duo," I finally said and he hummed an affirmative, pressing his face closer and placing a kiss on my neck that caused a shiver through my skin. And then I regretted saying anything as he sat up and I faced a particularly pissed off expression. "I will never forgive you," he growled. "You left me behind. You disconnected me. After you told me we'd do this together." He looked down then at his hand, rubbing his thumb gently across my arm. "I don't know how I'm supposed to trust you." I hated the face he made then, so dejected, and it hurt but not as much as the reality that I was going to hurt him again. Inevitably. I had failed. "You can't," I whispered. "I almost hurt you, before I left. I - I can't -" "Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore," he stated with absolute certainty and my face surely showed my confusion. "One good thing that came out of all this is that HERA monitored your brain activity while you were in that suit and fed me back a way to fix it." My eyes widened as I considered it, remembering HERA stating my brain activity was erratic several times and never even considering the implications of that. "Sally put you in a medically induced coma until she could review the data with Nexxus' team," he explained, running a tender hand through my greasy hair. "Obviously, Preventer detained most of them for questioning. Some will be sentenced but... probably not until they bring Sergio in. Anyway, they performed the procedure twelve hours ago and said you'd wake up any time and... yeah." I contemplated what he said as the back of Duo's knuckles stroked my cheek. "But I was supposed to go down with the colony." "Well, you almost fucking did, asshole," he growled, though he was still smiling. "When Trowa told me what happened, what you said - just add that to the list of shit I'll never forgive you for." His fingers stopped at the back of my neck. "Thankfully Wufei was en route - and smart enough to take a faster shuttle than a Gundam - when Zeus self-destructed and the colony blew. You were banged up pretty bad, but I guess you mostly cleared the colony. Good thing I tagged you with that tracker, despite your objections, or we'd never have found you in time. As it was you had only a couple minutes of oxygen left." The thought was sobering but only because of everything I knew now. That the process could be reversed. That I was... okay. It seemed weird and I didn't exactly trust it but then I knew Sally was good and knew she would likely be monitoring me for years to come. It felt strange to have it all out in the open now. Strange that everyone knew, that it wasn't some huge secret that I had to bear the weight of myself. It was uncomfortable and disturbing and embarrassing, but that was it. It was... over? Just like that? "But... the suits...? The children...?" A haunted look overcame his face and he turned away from me a moment, laying his chin on his knee. "When Lennon died... we all felt it." I swallowed hard and reached out weakly for him, resting my fingers on his hip. He looked at me then and lay back down on his side next to me, curling around my body, his head pillowed on my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around him as best I could to hold him. "The children took it bad," his voice wavered. "I was told that children really don't even start grasping the permanence of death until like six or something and even then only if they're especially mature and - I don't - it was just…" Duo paused and rubbed his eyes a minute before wrapping his arm around my waist again and squeezing tight. "He kept talking to us right up until the very end. I don't think he knew it was coming but then... the silence…" He sighed and there was silence between us for a long time as he relived those memories, I guess. I had no idea what that must've felt like, being connected that intimately, and I gave him time. "Needless to say," he eventually started again, with a sad chuckle I knew was mainly a way of protecting himself, not any genuine amusement, "the children were horrified. They all stood down. They didn't want to inflict that kind of experience on anyone else. "It was an iffy few days, you know, trying to round them up and get them to hospitals, get them cared for. They're all orphans and I... It's just hard for me. I was there with them and I..." His fingers gripped my gown and I nodded my head against his sympathetically. There was nothing I could do at this point but listen and honestly, selfishly, it was just good to hold him and be held by him and that was all I could really focus on. "I'm thinking about talking to Preventer about working with them, you know, specifically, trying to place them and, well, sick as it is, people will be gunning to adopt one of those 'tragic charity cases.'" I felt as disgusted as Duo sounded as I thought about it. "Anyway, we'll have to be careful about placing them and, well, I don't know, I just thought..." "No, you'd be good at that," I murmured, lips moving against his forehead, breathing in the scent of his shampoo. "So you wouldn't be upset if I made that commitment?" "No," I replied, a little surprised by the anxious question. "I'm not sure I have any right to tell you what to do." Duo moved back and propped himself up on his elbow to look at me again, resting his hand on my chest. It felt warm and I felt my chest constrict as he stared down at me, studying me. I knew I was unworthy of him. After everything I'd done, I - "But I want you to," he finally said, quietly, clearly nervous. I could hardly believe it. His fingers moved up to my cheek, down my neck, resting on my clavicle. "I... I want to give us another chance." "I don't think I deserve that..." Frankly, I didn't even think I could be trusted. I mean, he said it himself. He wouldn't forgive me. I knew he wasn't joking. And even if he could, I could never forgive myself. "'Ro." His voice was heavy and he ran his thumb against my jawline, forcing me to look him in the eyes. "We've been through some shit man." Duo laughed then, eyes shining, and it was throaty and warm and it hurt to realize how badly I wanted him. It hurt to think about going back to a space that wasn't occupied with that laughter, with his warmth. "Who the fuck else is going to put up with me? Who the fuck else is going to put up with you?" He pushed his finger into my chest then before settling back against my side. "I don't know how you'll put up with me," I answered honestly and he chuckled. "You're going to go to a lot of therapy," he said and I groaned. His fingers teased against my side and I jerked, not wanting to be tickled while I was still stuck in a bed with a damned catheter, but he relented quickly. Instead, he pressed his nose up against my jaw, nuzzling it. "You know I have never wanted anyone but you." His fingers sought out mine and laced between them, holding them tight. "And maybe I can never really have you, I don't know, but if you're here, then I wanna be near you. If you'll let me." "Duo." I turned my face to meet his eyes, noses pressed together. Maybe this experience only taught him that he couldn't count on me to be there, but it taught me something else entirely, and I felt absolutely certain as I spoke. "You are the only place I have ever felt at home." He smiled then, blinking as his eyes watered a little and his hand found its way into my hair, ruffling it gently with long fingers. "And I just want to go home." It was nothing but a whisper and he kissed me softly in acknowledgement, just a light press of his lips, opening the door and like a wayward child, shamed from running away only to realize how cruel the world really was, I felt nothing but utter complete and total relief as he accepted me back into my home. ~ * ~
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